


A Very Derry Christmas

by Pennywisers_Nickels



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Bad at tagging, Last one I promise, Losers' Club Christmas, M/M, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, christmas gifts, cute cute cute, fluff fluff fluff, goodbye everybody ive got to go, merry christmas y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21967192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pennywisers_Nickels/pseuds/Pennywisers_Nickels
Summary: Eddie Kaspbrak only wants five things for Christmas.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48





	A Very Derry Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas sloppy bitches!

July  
Eddie Kaspbrak only wanted one present for Christmas. The Losers were spending the midmorning in their clubhouse before heading off for swimming in the quarry. Eddie and Richie had always fought over the hammock, but on this particular occasion, Eddie had gotten there first. The Losers had arrived one by one, Beverly and Ben first, then Eddie, then Bill and Stan, then Mike, and finally Richie. Eddie had had just about enough of listening to Bev and Ben talk and make eyes at each other, so he pulled out his walkman, closed his eyes, and started listening to his music. He must have dozed off because he was shaken awake by none other than one Richie Tozier trying to join him in the hammock.  
“Rich, you are too fucking big for both of us to be in here.”  
“Fine, then. Get out.”  
“What? No!—”  
“—It’s my turn—”  
“—I got here first, dipshit—”  
“—And that’s why you need to LEAVE—” Ben, Bev, Bill, Mike, and Stan chuckled as they shared a knowing look. Instead of getting in the hammock, Richie decided simply to get Eddie out. He picked the hammock up from the bottom and tried to overturn it, which was an easier task than he had anticipated because Eddie was so light. The boy and his walkman came crashing to the floor, the latter breaking beyond repair. Richie’s mischievous smile was quickly replaced by a frown of concern.  
“Um, Eds, are you okay? I didn’t mean…” Eddie was looking down at his broken walkman, eyes shining with the beginning of tears. Only Eddie knew that they were more because of the pain of falling or the feeling of betrayal and not losing the walkman. Honestly, Eddie was surprised it had lasted this long, as it had been a birthday present from last year. Besides, it was outdated and the quality of the music it played had been declining since May. But that didn’t stop Eddie from being angry at Richie.  
“Jesus Rich. You just broke my walkman and you still refuse to call my by my real name? Un-fucking-believable.” Eddie picked himself and his broken walkman up off the floor. He punched Richie lightly but not playfully in the shoulder and climbed the ladder out of the clubhouse.  
“Eddie, wait!” Eddie heard Richie shout, followed by a soft “Let him g-go,” from Bill. Eddie wiped his eyes, found his bike amidst the five others crashed on the ground (only Stan’s bike was standing up properly), and pedaled quickly home, using the window to get to his room so his mom wouldn’t notice the dirt from the clubhouse floor and the bruises already starting to form.  
That night, Eddie was reading on his bed when he heard a clack! coming from his window. He ignored Richie’s typical signal once, twice, three times. It became clear that Richie wasn’t going to give up, so Eddie closed his book and crossed the floor to his window. He opened it up.  
“Go away. It’s late.”  
“Eds, can we talk?”  
“Not if you call me ‘Eds.’”  
“Eddie.” Richie’s voice was soft. A strange chill went through Eddie in the summer heat.  
“Fine.” Eddie threw down the rope he hid under his bed for occasions like this. Richie was getting too big to just climb the trellis. Once Richie was inside, he sat down on Eddie’s bed. Eddie joined him.  
“I’m sorry I broke your walkman, I didn’t mean to. Honest.” Eddie was quiet for a minute, thinking over what he should say. Deciding he couldn’t stay mad at Richie so there was no point in trying, he settled on cold forgiveness.  
“It’s okay. It’s old anyway. I guess I could just ask for a new one for Christmas.”  
“Tell your mom I broke it. I can handle it.”  
“No, no, she already hates you enough. I’ll just tell her it fell off when I was biking.” Richie turned to face Eddie.  
“Hey, man. Thanks.” Sparing Richie Sonia’s wrath saved Richie an hour of being yelled at. Eddie kept staring straight ahead and grunted a half-hearted “You’re welcome.” The boys sat there, Richie looking at Eddie and Eddie refusing to look back, Eddie feeling uncomfortable at Richie’s lack of bad jokes or impressions. After a good fifteen minutes, Richie said “Well, goodnight,” and left the way he had come. Eddie waited until he heard Richie’s bike scrape away down the road before going to the window and whispering his own “Goodnight,” back. 

August  
Eddie Kaspbrak only wanted two presents for Christmas. The Losers were at Bill’s house for a sleepover and Eddie had been wearing one of the three pairs of jeans he owned. Eddie had just finished making popcorn and settled down on the couch between Richie and Mike to join the rest of the gang for their monthly viewing of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. As Richie reached a hand into the bowl, he also moved his leg on top of Eddie’s. Eddie knew he should shove Richie’s leg off, but a part of him honestly didn’t mind that it was there. Eddie’s attention was drawn to his lap as Richie dropped some popcorn from his giant handful into it, and he never thought about Richie’s leg on his again for the rest of the night.  
Well, that’s not completely true. As they were getting ready for bed, Richie said offhandedly to Eddie, “You should really wear those shorts you have more often. Your jeans are scratchy.” A very flustered Eddie didn’t know how to take this, and he didn’t quite remember how he responded. Words just shot out of his mouth before he could string together a sentence, but he hoped it was an adequate insult. From the grin on Richie’s face, he could tell it hadn’t been. 

September  
Eddie Kaspbrak only wanted three presents for Christmas. The Losers (minus Mike, who unfortunately for them was still forced to be home-schooled) met after their first day back at school at Bill’s locker, then walked together to the bike racks to grab their bikes. They walked home together, Richie unleashing his usual stream of one-liners and curses, Eddie hurrying to come up with quick responses, everyone else laughing at the pair of them except for Stanley, who rolled his eyes so hard he thought they might fall out. Each kid broke away as their own house drew nearer, starting with Ben, then Bev, then Bill. Richie would be next to go, then Stan, then Eddie last  
The three boys walked past where Richie would usually break off, but this time, he did no such thing. He and Eddie were lost in conversation and Stan was distracted by a beautiful bird he had never seen before, so they missed Richie’s turn. Eddie didn’t realize until Stan broke off at his street that he would not be making the last leg of his trip home alone, but for fear of Richie suddenly leaving, he didn’t say anything. He continued to fire back at whatever Richie had just said and name the last five diseases his mom had threatened he would get in the process until they were finally at Eddie’s door.  
“Well, Edmund, I believe this is where we must part.” Richie used his worst British accent and Eddie cringed instantly. But Eddie wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Richie just yet. Even though the two were inseparable outside of school, there was nothing they could do about their class schedules. They were only in two classes together, and Eddie honestly had no idea how he could miss Richie’s loud mouth and disruptive behavior, but here he was. So he responded a little boldly for him.  
“Or…” Eddie started sheepishly, “I might need some help on my math homework. I don’t remember anything about math since the summer, and who assigns homework on the first day of school anyway?”  
“Can’t bear to let me go so soon Eds? So cute.” Richie reached out to pinch Eddie’s cheeks, but Eddie recognized what he was doing just in time to slap his hand away. He put on an exaggerated scowl to hide the blush creeping into his cheeks.  
“Fuck off, Trashmouth.” Eddie reached in his pocket for his keys, grabbed them, and opened the door. He walked inside but noticed Richie was not behind him. He turned around to face his friend.  
“Are you coming?” Richie grinned and followed Eddie up his stairs. It was weird for Richie to be trailing Eddie through his house. It wasn’t like it hadn’t happened before, but Eddie was more used to Richie coming in his window.  
When they got to his room, Eddie sat down on his bed and pulled out his new binder from his old backpack. He patted the bed next to him for Richie to sit down, but Richie lingered by the doorway.  
“Let’s get some music going in here Eds. Always helps me concentrate on my homework.” Eddie ignored that nickname he hated so much, but only because Richie had started to fiddle with his cassette player.  
“I don’t think that’s…” Eddie trailed off as his favorite song started to play. Eddie forgot his math homework as he marveled at Richie’s impeccable taste in music. Richie always knew exactly what song to play for Eddie.  
Richie joined Eddie on the bed, all memories of school and homework gone. All there was was lyrics, melody, and each other. Eddie looked at Richie as notes danced in and out of his ears, and he noticed for the first time how close they were sitting. How impossibly close. If Eddie moved his thigh over just an inch, they would be touching. The two shared a heat between them, one that was similar and yet very different to the heat of the summer. Eddie closed his eyes and rested his head on Richie’s shoulder, not fully realizing what he was doing but knowing somewhere deep down that it was right.  
The boys were broken from their spell when the cassette started to scratch. Eddie stood up, his math binder falling out of his lap, and went to see what the problem was despite the fact that he had no idea how the player worked. Richie followed him, and Eddie was forced to swallow his pride as he asked Richie what he thought the matter was. Richie inspected the tape but could find nothing wrong with it.  
“It must be the player. Lemme have a look.” Eddie moved out of Richie’s way as Richie began to scrutinize the machine.  
“Do you mind if I…?” Richie asked. Eddie nodded affirmatively.  
“Just don’t break it. It cost so much money. My mom will kill me.” Richie chuckled and got to work. Eddie decided he didn’t need Richie’s help on his homework, so he went back to his bed, picked up his binder, and started figuring out the first problem. Eddie found it difficult not to sneak glances at his handy friend, so he gave up halfway through and just watched Richie instead. Richie seemed to know what he was doing, and his hands flew across the machinery at the same tempo Eddie tended to speak at when he became flustered, which was often.  
Within five minutes, Richie was done. He turned back around to Eddie and Eddie quickly resumed his furious homework-doing.  
“I think you should be good. Let’s try it out.” Richie put Eddie’s favorite tape back in and rejoined Eddie on the bed. The track played perfectly, and Eddie thought it even sounded better than it had before, though he couldn’t describe why. He forgot to thank Richie as he became lost in the music again.  
When the entire tape had finished, Richie got up to slide in a new one, but not before looking over at Eddie’s half-finished worksheet.  
“Looks like you don’t need my help after all.” Richie then showed Eddie how he could actually load multiple tapes into the player and it would shuffle them around. Eddie would do this, but the trouble was, he didn’t have very many tapes.  
“Jesus Eds, is this all you have? For some reason I thought you had a huge library.”  
“Yeah, well, my mom’s not big on music. Said if I played it I would go deaf. So this is what I’ve managed to scrape up with my own money.”  
“Yikes. Well, if you ever get tired of listening to the same five tapes over and over again, I could lend you some of mine.”  
“Really? You would do that?” Eddie knew Richie was very protective of his cassette tapes and distinctly recalled a time he had refused to let Bev borrow one because he was afraid she would lose it to one of her many hiding places.  
“I would do anything for you, Eds.” Richie grinned, batting his eyelashes, and Eddie fought the urge to slap Richie across the face as hard as he could. He settled for a menacing glare and a sharp comeback.  
“Oh really? Would you get the fuck out of my house for me?”  
“Do you really want me to?” Eddie did not want Richie to leave, so he decided he was done with the conversation. He went back to his bed and Richie went with him. They boys laid down and stared up at the ceiling, occasionally holding short conversations, until it became dark outside and Richie decided he wanted to be home for dinner. Plus, if Sonia found Richie in Eddie’s room, she would seal Eddie’s window shut permanently. As Richie climbed down Eddie’s wall and waved goodbye to his best friend, Eddie added new cassette tapes to his mental Christmas list. 

October  
Eddie Kaspbrak only wanted four gifts for Christmas. It was Halloween night, and since the Losers felt they had outgrown Trick-or-Treating (except for Eddie, who per Sonia Kaspbrak’s orders had never gone. Too many people, Eddie could get lost in the crowd, people may have poisoned the candies were her usual excuses), they decided on watching scary movies and drizzling chocolate over popcorn.  
Eddie had dressed as a sheet ghost but taken off the costume when he began to get cold and draped it over his legs like a blanket. Annoyingly, Richie had insisted on getting in and Eddie would never hear the end of it.  
Rather, feel the end of it.  
Because Richard Fucking Tozier (dressed as Indiana Jones, with his hat still very much on and blocking Eddie’s view of the screen) would not stop squirming. First it was his feet. He flexed and pointed his toes repeatedly, trying to get a rise out of Eddie, and he succeeded.  
“Ow! Fucking stop!” Eddie shouted as Richie’s toes attacked his ankles.  
“No can do Spaghetti. My toes are too cold. If I stop they’ll freeze off.” Richie looked at Eddie with his characteristic wicked grin.  
“You’re an idiot, Tozier. You know that? Why don’t you move closer to Bill’s fireplace if your feet are so cold?”  
“Because then I wouldn’t be with you!” Eddie tried very, very hard to ignore the little somersault his heart just did. After a lighthearted “Fuck off,” he gave his complaints a rest until Richie started moving his legs too. Crossing and uncrossing them. Tangling with Eddie’s legs. Richie’s knees bending and then straightening again.  
“Will you stop!”  
“Sorry Eddie baby, just trying to get comfortable!”  
“Don’t fucking call me that! And if you’re gonna keep squirming like that, go get comfortable somewhere else.”  
“Geez, I’m sorry.” In the greenish glow coming off the TV, Richie didn’t look sorry in the slightest. But, Eddie was glad, he did move out from under the blanket. If only to get up and use the bathroom.  
While Richie was away, a gruesome image flashed onscreen. Eddie wasn’t scared, but he sure was disturbed. The image of a bloody, mangled body burned itself into Eddie’s eyeballs so that every time he closed his eyes, it appeared. Eddie knew he had seen much worse and that this wasn’t even real, but it hit him hard anyway. It made him flash back to standing in front of the creepy house on Neibolt Street which was still there, which Eddie still hadn’t found a way to avoid on his walk home from school. Eddie remembered all too vividly the deformed face of the leper, the asymmetrical eyes, the drool cascading from his swollen lips, the stringy, unnaturally yellow hair and suddenly he heard a scream, muted but getting louder and louder and then suddenly he was back in Bill’s house, in front of the TV, and the scream was leaving his own lips but Richie’s arms were around him, holding him tightly and the other Losers were looking down at him.  
“Eddie! Eddie! Look at me! Look at my face! You’re going to be okay. Whatever it was wasn’t real. Look at me. You’re okay.”  
Eddie was breathing hard, his heart beating two times too fast. He thought he was about to have a heart attack. As if on cue, Richie said “You’re not having a heart attack. You’re okay. Just look at me, okay? Look at me.”  
Eddie did look at Richie. Richie’s calloused hands were cupping his face, and he could see his scared reflection in Richie’s giant glasses. He was small, and pale, and he could see rather than feel tears streaking down his cheeks. Eddie reached up and slid Richie’s glasses off, and there he was. Eddie focused on Richie’s warm, brown eyes with little flecks of gold. They reminded him of hot chocolate, and suddenly he felt soothed and much calmer. He closed his eyes to make sure the bloody image was gone, and it was, replaced instead with Richie and his chocolate eyes.  
“Thanks,” Eddie said weakly as Bev handed him a glass of water. Eddie felt warmth leave his cheeks as Richie took his hands away, but he still looked concerned.  
“Don’t be worried about me, guys. I’ll be fine. It was just a dumb movie.”  
“We know that. We were worried about your reaction. You seemed to be reacting to something else.” Bev said, concern in her voice as well.  
“I just flashed back to seeing that leper. From—” Eddie gulped “—that summer.” Each Loser’s face held a horrified look.  
“D-d-do you want to t-t-talk about it?” stuttered Bill compassionately.  
“No. No. I just want to forget about it. I think I should be getting home. My mom will be getting worried.” It was only 8:00, but the Losers knew Sonia Kaspbrak well enough not to question Eddie.  
“Shall I escort you, m’lady?” Richie said in a British accent, but the humor in his eyes that usually accompanied one of his terrible impressions was absent.  
“No thank you,” Eddie replied, though he said nothing when Richie followed him anyway.  
\---  
Both boys were uncharacteristically silent as Richie walked Eddie home. Usually Richie would be cracking the worst jokes Eddie had ever heard and Eddie would be retorting furiously, but Eddie was glad Richie for once had the good sense to shut up. When the boys did talk, it was about school, but they were both too lost in their own trains of thought to hold a real conversation.  
Both too lost in their own trains of thought to notice that in the haunting Halloween light of the silver full moon with the crisp chill of an impending rain storm in the air, they were standing so close to each other that it was a wonder their hands weren’t touching.  
\---  
Eddie laid in bed, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars of differing shapes on his ceiling. Richie was long gone and his mother off to sleep, but Eddie was too awake. He didn’t want to risk closing his eyes again and seeing the disturbing image, so he blinked as fast as he could when he had to. He missed the calming presence of Richie. Not that Richie calmed him down; he did quite the opposite. But Richie was natural. Richie was comfort. Richie was home. Eddie could always be himself when he was with Richie, as opposed to playing the part of the sickly child in his house, with his mom. In scary situations, even something as mundane as this, Eddie wished for that comfort of Richie there beside him. Richie just felt…right. Eddie and Richie, Richie and Eddie. That’s how it had always been. Through thick and thin, through clown monsters from space and math tests. Even as infuriating as he could be, Richie made Eddie feel real, more than his mom ever did, more than anyone in this godforsaken town except the rest of the Losers did. As Eddie remembered the warmth Richie made feel inside, the honey-sweet warmth of true, close friendship, he drifted off to sleep.  
\---  
It was nearly midnight when Eddie woke up, sweating and yet still impossibly cold. The image was back, and it had haunted his dreams. But in this nightmare, it was Richie’s body that was horribly mangled. It had been so vivid. Eddie experienced Richie’s pain, tasted his blood, screamed his dying screams. The glass from Richie’s glasses had fractured and all the shards were stuck in Richie’s body, creating small spouts of blood all over him. Eddie had known it was a dream as he watched, but he didn’t know how to leave the dream, how to wake himself up, so he was trapped, forced to watch as Richie’s blood turned the floor scarlet around him.  
Trying to catch his breath in the cool night air, Eddie was fully scared, but at the same time, he felt paralyzed. He didn’t want to wake up his mommy because she would freak out worse than he just did and he didn’t feel like sleeping the rest of the night away in a cold, comfortless white hospital bed. But he didn’t want to stay in bed and risk falling asleep there, either. He couldn’t go to Richie’s because it had just started to rain outside, plus there was no way he was walking even the couple of blocks to his home in the dark after that dream. Well, Eddie supposed, there was a way to contact Richie, assuming of course that he was still awake.  
Eddie tiptoed downstairs to the pantry where his mom’s phone was kept. He dialed Richie’s number as noiselessly as he could and waited as patiently as he could without getting anxious (which was hard for the hypochondriac).  
“Eddie?” came a sleepy voice from the other line.  
“Richie? Are you awake?”  
“No.”  
“Well I need you to wake up because I just had a nightmare and I need to hear your voice right now.”  
“Awww, need me to comfort you? You’re cute Eds.” Richie replied, now fully awake and his usual crude self.  
“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. I’ll hang up now.”  
“No no no wait Eds! I’ll behave, I promise. What do you want to talk about?”  
“We can start with how you’re not going to call me Eds ever again.”  
“No I don’t like that one. How ‘bout your mom’s knockers!” Eddie could hear Richie’s sick grin.  
“Hilarious. Hysterical. Why don’t you shut the fuck up right now?” Eddie felt himself warming up as he stopped sweating, and despite how annoyed he was with Richie, he was starting to feel normal again.  
“Hey, weren’t you the one who called me?”  
“Yeah, well there was a reason, dipshit, and I really don’t want to hear any of your dumbass jokes. Not ever, but especially not now.”  
“Okay fine. Why did you call me?”  
“Well, I was having a bad dream, a real bad one. Scared the shit outta me.”  
“Was it like what happened at Bill’s?”  
“Worse. It was the same picture I saw there, only you were dead.”  
“Me?”  
“Yeah. All cut up with glass shards making you bleed all over the floor.”  
“Jesus Eds, that sounds really bad. You need me to come over?”  
“No, it’s fine, I feel better already and I don’t want you catching cold in the rain—”  
“Too late, I’m coming. Be there in ten.”  
“You really don’t have to—” Just then, Eddie heard the sound of ceramic shattering upon contact with the hardwood floor. While wildly gesticulating in that way he did, he had accidentally knocked one of his mother’s precious vases onto the floor. Eddie waited for a few seconds of silence.  
“What was that?”  
“Oh, I just knocked my mom’s vase—” Eddie was cut off as Sonia stormed into the room.  
“Edward Kaspbrak! What are you doing on the phone at midnight? Why aren’t you in bed?”  
“I was just asking Richie about the homework—” Eddie knew he had made a mistake when Richie’s name slipped out of his mouth. He cursed himself silently. Why did he have to pick Richie? He could have said Bill’s or Ben’s names, as those were the only two Losers Sonia was okay with.  
“That Tozier boy?” Sonia bellowed. “That rotten child is a bad influence on you. The spawn of the devil, I tell you that. How many times do I have to tell you not to be around him!” Eddie didn’t know what to say, so he cowered in fear, trying to make his already-small body smaller than it already was.  
“Sorry mommy!” Eddie managed to squeak out.  
“Go to your room, child. Go to sleep, and we’ll talk about this in the morning. I’ll handle Mr. Tozier.” As Eddie hung his head and moped up the stairs to his room, he could hear Sonia shouting at Richie from the living room.  
“Don’t ever call my son, hell don’t ever talk to my son again. And keep your dirty faggot hands off him, you monster!”  
With that, Sonia Kaspbrak slammed the phone back onto its receiver and her son decided it was time for his own phone to go in his own room so he could keep talking to Richie without these consequences. 

November  
Eddie Kaspbrak only wanted five gifts for Christmas. It was the morning of Thanksgiving, and the Losers were building snowmen near the scenic and now-icy Barrens. Richie had proclaimed that his and Eddie’s snowman would be the biggest, and so far, he was looking to be right. The two boys were only on their middle layer and already they had doubled the size of Bev and Ben’s completed snowman. But Bev and Ben were more worried about decorations than size, and as they had finished building first, they were now scavenging for a nose and a hat.  
Eddie made the mistake of turning his back to Richie (a mistake because snow and Eddie were the two things Richie loved most) as he went to gather snow he had previously deemed the sturdiest, which was closer to the stream. As he bent down, he felt cold pain explode into his back with a thud. Eddie turned around.  
“Hey!” he shouted at the same time Richie yelled “Snowball fight!” and started gathering up more snow. There was nothing Eddie could do except play along, and he really wanted to nail Richie right in the face for that. So, he gathered up his “sturdy” snow and retaliated.  
“Oooh, Eddie Spaghetti coming back strong with a fastball!” Richie replied in his sports-announcer voice as Eddie’s snowball grazed his shoulder before adding “Is that all you got, hot stuff?”  
Soon enough, the Losers were in a full-blown snowball war as Bill, Stan, and Mike came to Eddie’s defense. The air turned as white as the ground as a flurry of snowballs were hurled back and forth, and though the Losers were all wet with snow, their spiking adrenaline kept them from feeling it.  
“G-g-go for the snowmen,” Bill whispered in Eddie’s ear. “I’ll nail R-R-Richie, S-S-Stan will get Bev, and Mike will g-g-get B-Ben.”  
“Not a chance,” Eddie whispered back. “That four-eyed piece of shit is mine.” Bill shrugged and let the younger boy go after his assailant.  
“Not our snowman! It was the best one!” Richie cried out as the combined forces of Bill and Mike knocked Richie’s and Eddie’s snowman down. Eddie grinned and lined up his shot while Richie was momentarily distracted. He pulled back his arm, aimed, and threw with all his might. Richie fell back with an “oof” as the snowball hit him square in the face, and Eddie burst out laughing.  
“Take that, you aggressive fuck!” Eddie shouted triumphantly as the Losers dropped their remaining handfuls of snow. Richie stood up, rubbing his eyes and taking off his freezing-cold glasses. Eddie immediately regretted his work and raced to Richie’s side to place his hands on Richie’s shoulders.  
“Jesus Rich, are you okay? I didn’t—” Eddie stopped when he heard Richie laughing.  
“Don’t apologize Eds! That was good! You really got me.”  
“I did? I did! Wow! Yeah!” Eddie smiled with relaxed relief.  
“Congratulations. You managed to take down the one and only Richie Tozier!”  
“What do I win?”  
“Hmmmm, I don’t know. I didn’t have prizes in mind when I started this. How ‘bout a peck on the cheek from your ol’ pal Richie?”  
“Eww no thank you,” Eddie said, removing his hands from Richie’s shoulders and plastering a look of mock disgust on his face. For a split second, Eddie thought he detected a flash of disappointment on Richie’s face. But it was gone so fast Eddie convinced himself he had just imagined it.  
“Then how ‘bout we rebuild poor Frosty over there?”  
“I’d like that.” Eddie realized for the first time that in the cold morning air, he felt a glow radiating inside him, keeping him warm.  
\---  
Richie knew Sonia would make a fuss if her not-so-little boy came home wet and shivering, so he invited Eddie to his house for a shower and a clean set of clothes. Eddie had always kept a spare set of clothes at Richie’s house for times like these, ever since Richie pushed Eddie into the quarry with all his clothes on on Eddie’s tenth birthday. Richie had called it a “rite of passage” and told Eddie that every boy in Derry was pushed into the quarry when they turned ten. After bringing it up with Bill, Eddie learned that this, like most everything else that came out of Richie’s mouth, was a particularly unfunny joke.  
Eddie’s aunt, who resembled his mom in far too many ways, was over for Thanksgiving dinner, along with her two children, Eddie’s young cousins, and her husband. Sarah Atkinson liked to interrogate her only nephew on his life, calling it “catching up.” Eddie easily dodged most of her more invasive questions, though one haunted him the rest of the night.  
“So, Eddie, found any nice girls lately?” Eddie gave his aunt the strangest look he could muster to avoid the burden of words and kept picking at his slightly-overcooked turkey.  
“Why not? You’re fifteen, aren’t you?” Eddie didn’t know how to answer.  
“Yeah. There just… haven’t been any my type I guess.” Apparently satisfied with that answer, Aunt Sarah moved on with her line of questioning, but Eddie didn’t.  
\---  
That night, Eddie laid in bed, mulling over Aunt Sarah’s question for the thousandth time. Why wasn’t he into girls? Richie certainly was, between his unwarranted sex jokes and his making out with what seemed like a new girl every week. Eddie wondered what Richie would do when he had broken the hearts of every teenage girl under sixteen in Derry. Bill seemed to be into girls too. Although he and Stan were currently…something (they weren’t officially dating but from the way they looked at each other, Eddie knew there was something unspoken there), it had taken Bill the longest time to get over Beverly. Eddie had even seen Stan make eyes at some girls at school from time to time. But girls never interested Eddie. They were his friends, especially Bev, but he never thought of them as anything more. Did he ever think of anyone as anything more?  
Yes.  
Suddenly, as though a rough wave was crashing over him, sucking him in, rolling him over, then spitting him back out again, Eddie was hit with flashes of memories. The only thing to transcend that wave, his only lifeline in the rollicking ocean, was the image of Richie. His dirty hand, offered to Eddie when he fell off the jungle gym in second grade. His shoulder that Eddie cried on after Eddie broke his arm in the cursed house on Neibolt Street. His eyes, always with a hint of a joke behind them in even when he had calmed Eddie down from his nightmare just last month.  
Suddenly, everything, every internal warm glow he felt when he was around Richie made sense as Eddie realized with a resigned sigh that he was hopelessly, endlessly, and unconditionally in love with his best friend. 

December  
Eddie Kaspbrak was not sick. He sneezed once on Christmas morning. Well, maybe it had been twice. But Eddie knew for a fact that he was absolutely fine. Still, his mother being who she was, Eddie was forced to stay in bed all day, with the exception of the customary opening of the presents, for which he was to lay on the couch, under a blanket, with a cup of hot chamomile and honey in his hand. Eddie had given Sonia his Christmas list of a new Walkman, more of his signature summer shorts, cassette tapes, and a phone in his room (he knew the fifth item was something his mommy could never buy him) a month ago, and yet she still failed to deliver, which Eddie guessed he shouldn’t have been so surprised by. It’s not like Sonia ever did anything Eddie wished she would do. But in all his fifteen years of disappointment, he had never once given up hope.  
Instead, what Eddie received were a new inhaler (this is a present?), a sweater Sonia told Eddie that would keep away potential illnesses but was really just hot and too itchy to stand, some more socks, which Eddie regarded as his mother’s less-pleasing substitute for the shorts, and as always, new underwear. Christmas had let Eddie down once again.  
It only got worse from there. Because Eddie was “sick,” Sonia made it crystal clear that he was not allowed to leave the house. This meant that Eddie was not allowed to attend the customary Losers’ Christmas morning gift exchange at Richie’s house. A dejected Eddie called Bill on the (downstairs) phone while Sonia was in the bathroom to let him know Eddie’s predicament, and Bill sympathized, his disappointment carrying clearer than his words through the phone. Eddie had always received his real gifts from his friends, not his mother, and these were always what made Christmas for Eddie. But this year, there were no good presents and no friends to share the holiday with. Eddie trudged up the stairs to his room with his new “gifts” and started to cry.  
He had been crying on and off for two hours now, stopping long enough to eat the chicken noodle soup his mother made for him. He didn’t want to give her the victory, but it was so delicious and he was so hungry and depressed enough not to care that he ate it anyway. As he finished the last of the soup, he heard a knock on the window and a whispered but still distinct voice.  
“Eddie! Eddie! Open up! It’s me!” Eddie jumped out of bed, forgetting his depression and unlocking the window as fast as he could.  
“I have a rope for this you know,” he said as he helped Beverly through his window. Looking down, he saw Beverly’s boyfriend give him a kind wave. He fished the rope out from under his bed, threw it down to Ben.  
“Use this rope to help you climb the trellis!” Eddie whisper-yelled. Within minutes, three of the seven Losers were in Eddie’s room.  
“What are you guys doing here?” Eddie turned to Bev as she picked stowaway twigs and leaves from the tree near Eddie’s window out of her mess of curly red hair.  
“Merry Christmas!” Bev exclaimed, keeping her voice down for fear of the wrath of Sonia Kaspbrak. “We weren’t about to let you skip Christmas just because your mom won’t let you see us.”  
“So we came to see you!” Ben added with a radiant smile.  
“Here,” Bev said as she fished a small package out of her jacket pocket. “Here’s my Christmas gift to you.” The package was small, covered in red and green wrapping paper with images of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer on it. Eddie tore open the wrapping, underneath which was a box. He opened the box, and inside was a gorgeous cord bracelet with gold charms spelling out “L-O-V-E-R,” the “V” charm in silver instead of gold. Eddie gasped.  
“Thank you Bev! It’s beautiful. Did you make it yourself?”  
“Sure did! It’s to remind you that no matter how much of a loser you may feel at times, you’ll know that we always love you. Even Richie.”  
“Especially Richie,” Ben added before Bev shoved him in the ribs. Nevertheless, Eddie heard him and his heart started to race.  
“Here’s mine,” said Ben as he pulled out a similarly-shaped box, only it was deeper. Eddie lifted the lid to find a set of eight cassette tapes.  
“Woah! Thanks Ben! This is awesome!”  
“You’re welcome. A few from bands I know you like, and a few from some I think you might if you try them out.” Eddie gave Ben and Bev his gifts for them, a sketch pad for Ben to draw his building designs and some fabric Eddie had seen Bev admire in a shop once. He supposed his gifts for them were not as thoughtful as theirs for him, but he knew they would enjoy their gifts all the same. After about an hour of chatting, Ben and Bev decided it was time to go. Eddie gave them both grateful hugs before helping them back out of the window and out of his house, wishing them a merry Christmas.  
Ben and Bev hadn’t been gone half an hour before the next Loser showed up: Mike.  
“You came too! I had no idea!”  
“Of course I came! I can’t let you spend Christmas alone!” Mike gave Eddie a bear hug and his present. It was wrapped in simple brown paper with a crisp red ribbon tied in a bow on top. Eddie opened it up to find a book on survival skills in the forest.  
“The librarian recommended it to me and I immediately thought of you. It has everything you need to know about defending yourself against nature. And it’s not just for forests. When taken metaphorically, some of it can even translate into everyday situations! It also has some ways to prevent certain diseases, which I knew you would appreciate.” Mike was right.  
“Thanks Mike! This looks really interesting. I’ll start reading it as soon as you leave.” But Eddie never got the chance because when Mike did leave, after Eddie had given him his present of home-baked cookies (he didn’t really know what to get Mike and everyone likes chocolate-chip cookies, right?), Stan and Bill arrived.  
It was now early afternoon, and Eddie reflected on how his day hadn’t been the letdown the morning had led him to believe it would be. He was spending time with his best friends in the world, and as a bonus, he did get some real presents.  
“Open it,” Bill said, his quiet tone perkier than usual. Eddie tore back the wrapping paper to reveal a framed sketch of the Losers, standing together in the Barrens. Eddie couldn’t help noticing that Bill had drawn Richie’s arm around Eddie’s shoulder. Did Richie always stand that close to Eddie?  
“Breathtaking.” Eddie gaped at the artistry of the drawing.  
“Do you l-like it?”  
“I love it! Thanks Bill!” Eddie put the frame on his nightstand, on display for all who entered his room to see.  
Stan brought Eddie some hand sanitizer and disinfectant, not as a joke because Eddie was actually low on those things and because Stan and Eddie were the only two of the group who stressed the importance of cleanliness. Stan accompanied those physical gifts with a heartfelt letter written specifically to Eddie about what Eddie’s friendship meant to him. He also explained that the Losers should wear their title as a badge of honor, not something to be ashamed of, because being losers is what brought the group together. So in that sense, they weren’t actually losers, but winners of the closest bond they could ever have.  
Eddie started to cry when he read the letter. Bill told him Stan had given them all personal heartfelt letters, and they all cried when they read them. Bill and Stan hugged Eddie, and the three of them sat there, in each others’ arms, reflecting on how much better their lives were together.  
“Here are your gifts,” Eddie sniffled, forcing the tears to stop coming to his eyes by changing the subject, “For Bill, a selection of some of the finest works of literature. I know you’ve been into writing lately, so here are some authors who might have some advice for you.”  
“Thanks Eddie,” replied Bill as he turned to the first page of Pride and Prejudice and began reading.  
“And for Stan, a guide to the ten most elusive birds in all of Maine. Happy hunting!” Eddie knew he had nailed Stan’s gift when Stan stared in awe at the book Eddie was holding for a good ten seconds before picking Eddie up and swinging him around.  
“Thank you thank you thank you! Oh my god Eddie! This is amazing!” Eddie was about to tell Stan to keep his voice down, these rendezvous were secret from Sonia of course, when he heard his mother calling from downstairs.  
“Eddie-bear, is everything alright? It sounds like there is more than just you up there!”  
“Fine mommy. Just this video game I’m playing!” Eddie called back, the lie coming too easy to him.  
“Don’t play for too long or your eyes will burn out!”  
“Okay mommy I won’t!”  
“Okay, I’ll bring you up some dinner in about an hour!”  
“Thanks mommy!”  
“You’re welcome darling!”  
“How did you think of that lie so fast?” Stan asked, his voice noticeably quieter.  
“With Richie here all the time, and he’s forbidden to be here of course, you build up an arsenal of excuses. All you gotta do is remember one fast enough.”  
“S-s-simple as that, huh?”  
“Yup.”  
Stan and Bill left to get home to their family dinners (Stan was looking forward to Chinese at the Jade of the Orient), leaving Eddie alone once more.  
\---  
There was only one Loser left, and it was already dark outside. Eddie thought Richie wouldn’t come. In fact, he hoped Richie wouldn’t come. He longed to see his friend again, but it was just so hard to be in love with someone Eddie knew didn’t love him back. Couldn’t love him back. Ever since Eddie’s epiphany on Thanksgiving, he had been avoiding Richie. At school, within the Losers’ Club, locking his window so that Richie couldn’t come in. He wouldn’t let Richie touch him anymore, not even the slightest brush of hands. Eddie had felt himself grow cold and stiff near Richie. He had put up too many walls because he knew he was just too fragile to face the rejection he would certainly get. Eddie loved Richie, and he wanted to tear the walls down, to run to Richie and hug him and say “I miss you” and kiss him and—  
“Eddie?”  
Shit.  
Fuck.  
He was here.  
Richie climbed the trellis without Eddie’s rope and was waiting outside for Eddie to open the window. Eddie tried to stay put but his body betrayed him and before he knew it, he and Richie were laying on his bed, faces to the stars on the ceiling, an awkward silence between them. Finally, after what felt like an eternity but was probably more like ten minutes, Richie couldn’t stand the empty air. He sat up.  
“Eddie, I didn’t just come here because it’s Christmas and I had to. I need to talk to you. I want to talk to you.” Eddie’s heart fluttered when Richie said his real name. Not “Eds,” not “Spaghetti,” just plain “Eddie.” Eddie was intrigued enough to sit up, but he refused to look at Richie. Richie took it as a sign to continue.  
“You’ve been really distant lately. Since Thanksgiving, maybe. I don’t know why, but I keep blaming myself. Did I do something wrong? Why won’t you look at me? Why won’t you talk to me? Why Eddie? Why?” Eddie felt a hot tear streaking down his left cheek, then one down his right. He didn’t know what to say, so he stayed quiet.  
“Here,” Richie whispered as he reached over to wipe the tears off Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie didn’t bat his hand away. Instead, he let Richie lift his chin so that he was looking into Richie’s eyes, those eyes that had always meant home, safety, kindness. Eddie didn’t know quite why, but he lurched forward into Richie’s arms, hugging him fiercely and letting his tears stain Richie’s winter coat. Eddie shook with sobs and Richie held him close, letting him decompose.  
After a few minutes, Richie pulled back. He brushed Eddie’s tousled brown hair away from his eyes and cupped his face in his hands.  
“Eddie, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I can help you fix it.” Richie’s tone was too soft for Richie. Eddie shook his head in rhythm with his sobs.  
“It’s not something you can h-h-help. You don’t have control over it. N-n-neither do I.” Richie nodded his head, pretending to understand.  
“Well, here, I brought you this, maybe it will help cheer you up.” Richie pulled out a brand-new Walkman and handed it to Eddie. “Bought it myself. I saved up all my money to get it for you. I felt really bad about breaking your old one. It even comes with…um…a tape I think you should listen to.” Eddie felt the Walkman in his hands, the smooth new edges that were much cleaner than his last one had been. He wanted to thank Richie, or hug him, or something, but he just started sobbing harder.  
“Well, um, I’m gonna go now,” Richie slid tentatively off Eddie’s bed, and the next thing he did shocked Eddie. He planted a quick kiss on Eddie’s tear-streaked cheek. “See you around, kid. Merry Christmas.” Richie found the rope under Eddie’s bed, walked slowly to the window as if he were about to change his mind any second and stay with Eddie until he could speak again, and threw the rope down. Then he did.  
Richie Tozier turned on his heel, marched back to Eddie, sat down on the bed, and connected his lips with the other boy’s.  
Eddie was stunned. Not too stunned to stop kissing Richie, but stunned all the same. Did Richie really—? Were they actually—? Eddie had to make sure it was real, so he made the sacrifice of removing his lips.  
“Wait wait wait. Why are you doing this? Why are you kissing me right now? Is it because you genuinely want to? Or because you feel bad for me? Because if that’s the case—” Eddie was cut off by Richie’s lips and his dancing on each other once more. This time Richie pulled away. Eddie groaned, but both boys were smiling uncontrollably.  
“I’m kissing you because I like you. I like like you. I really like like you. A lot. You’re cute and you make me feel good and I think you like me too. Why haven’t we kissed before? I really like it.”  
“I really like it too. I really like you too.”  
“Well then why are we still talking?” Richie exclaimed, and Eddie answered him with a kiss. After several minutes, Richie pulled away again.  
“When did you figure it out? That you liked me?”  
“Honestly, it has always been there. I guess I’ve always known. But it wasn’t until Thanksgiving that my brain decided to hit me over the head with it.”  
“I knew it! That’s why you were so distant.”  
“Yup. I didn’t want you to reject me, so I didn’t want to give you the chance. When did you figure it out?”  
“Eddie Kaspbrak, I have been in love with you since the very first time you laughed at one of my dumbass jokes.”  
And with that, Richie and Eddie kissed and kissed and kissed, finally consummating the love that had been growing for each other from the day they met. Neither of them noticed it because they were concerned only with each other, but a little snow had begun to fall outside, the first Christmas snow in Derry, Maine in a long, long time.  
\---  
Epilogue  
Minutes after Richie left for home, Eddie laid alone in his bed, his heart still pounding wildly and his lips still tingling. Missing Richie already, he decided to try out his new Walkman. The cassette tape inside was just labeled “Merry Christmas, Eddie my Love,” so Eddie wondered what it could be. He pressed play and was confronted immediately with Richie’s voice.  
“Hi, uh, Eddie. I’m doing this kind of on a whim, so I hope you like it. It should, um, it should explain everything. Here goes.” With that, a guitar riff started, which Eddie assumed Richie was playing. It was slow, steady, and gentle. Even as Richie’s rough voice came in singing the melody, Eddie loved it.

Eddie, my love, I love you so  
How I wanted for you, you'll never know  
Please, Eddie, don't make me wait too long

As Eddie finished the song and then put it on again, he smiled to himself.  
Maybe Christmas wasn’t so bad after all.


End file.
